June 1, 2023

How Childhood Wounds Damage Our Ability to Bond

PSYCHOLOGY – Fusion, dependent or fundamentally solitary… The type of attachment formed from birth with those responsible for taking care of us colors our ability to enter into relationships with others in adulthood.

“I find it hard to trust other people.deplores Rodolphe, 43, chef. In the restaurant, I always have my eye on everything. In my personal life, it’s the same. I am close to my children but for the rest… I’m always afraid of being fooled. I can’t get attached.” Without knowing it, Rodolphe uses the right word to talk about a key concept in psychology, that of attachment. It is to John Bowlby that we owe the theory of the same name. In the 1950s, this British psychiatrist was inspired by observations made in ethology: when they are born, animals instinctively attach themselves to their mother. The baby birds, for example, barely out of the egg, identify it as the one that will provide them with protection, before letting them fly on their own, in due time.

SEE ALSO – In order to reassure your child, you must “refamiliarize him with gestures he knows”, according to a psychologist

This bond, essential to the survival and then to the development of the species…

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