July 27, 2021

Take your child with you, no matter how difficult your parents are


ChinaA couple working far away, driving home to celebrate Tet, saw their two-year-old son standing in front of the village gate with expectant eyes.

As the car approached, the boy moved aside, staring at the occupants. Dadisaa said, when the boy knew that his parents returned, he ran to the village gate to wait. Waiting for a while without seeing anyone, the boy went home again, then went back to the village gate. “Both husband and wife burst into tears,” said the boy’s father.

The story happened in Vinh Thanh city, Ha Nam province.

A 2-year-old boy waits for his parents at the village gate in Yongcheng City, Henan Province, China. Image: kknews.

In the world, there is no parent who wants to leave their children to work, no parent does not want to watch their children grow up every day. But for many people, carrying a child is impossible.

However, no amount of money can replace a child’s sense of security, nothing can replace a child’s most precious years. If possible, take your child with you even if it’s difficult. Although work is very important because it provides income to support the family, money cannot buy a child’s adulthood.

Mr. Luu Tan Vu, founder of the charity “On the way to school”, to the group of children abandoned for 6 years. In her book, “The White Paper on the Mental Health of Left-Behind Children in China” has astonishing data: 10% of children left behind believe their parents are dead; 2.6 million children do not even receive any calls from their parents while away from work. The Chinese Academy of Sciences also conducted a national survey of abandoned children and concluded: 34% of children have suicidal thoughts and more than 9% of them have attempted suicide.

On China’s largest Q&A social network, Zhihu had a topic: “Do you think abandoned children have psychological deficiencies?”

Among the responses, the story of a girl named Hanh Diep received much attention. When she was born, her father worked far away in the city, but she did not feel lonely with her mother by her side. At the age of 10, in order to improve the family economy, her mother also worked away from home so she took her to live with her maternal grandparents.

Since her mother left, many nights she cried silently in the dark, but did not dare to share it with anyone. With her maternal grandparents, they always reminded her to do well in school so that her parents could be reassured, but Hanh Diep always felt lonely. After elementary school, she became sensitive and skeptical, very emotional, and had almost no friends.

By level 2, she becomes less talkative and taciturn. She began to think that for the money that parents leave their children for their grandparents, she should try to study for the highest score. “That is the only way worthy of parents,” Hanh Diep said. Although the college entrance exam scores are nearly absolute, the darkness of childhood makes Hanh Diep’s mentality abnormal. She is jealous of people, sensitive, confident and vulnerable. This girl is also unable to handle personal relationships well with others. Relationships with parents have never been good either.

If a child is unable to establish an intimate relationship with their parents before the age of 12, they will lack security and happiness throughout life.  Illustration.

If a child is unable to establish an intimate relationship with their parents before the age of 12, they will lack security and happiness throughout life. Illustration.

Sun Yun Xiao, an expert at the China Youth Research Center, said: “Family affection is the best emotional support system for children, a lifelong spiritual nurturing place. Having an intimate relationship with parents before the age of 12, they will lack security and happiness throughout their lives.

Mr. Ton also said that the biggest harm to children is that every night they want to be warm, but their parents are not around. When they make mistakes and get upset, the parents cannot protect or hear their children vent their anger. “Children who have gone through difficulties, pain, loneliness and loneliness will not have a warm feeling in the future. Because a child lacks love, his heart is also barren,” Mr. Ton affirmed. .

In the book “Three Essays on the theory of sexuality” by the famous Austrian psychologist Sigmund Freud wrote: “A three-year-old boy in a dark room shouted to people outside: ‘Aunt, Talk to me. I’m scared, it’s so dark here. ‘The aunt replied,’ What good is that? Because I can’t see you ‘. The boy replied:’ No problem, where there is no sound the person in that place has the ‘light’.

Children without a parent are like a boy locked in a small, dark room. They don’t need to wear expensive clothes, eat delicious food or play with interesting toys. All they want is listening, warm love from their parents. What they want is peace of mind and happiness at hand.

A man in Chengdu City carries his children and cuts hairs for guests in Chengdu City, Sichuan Province, China.  Photo: SCTV.

A man in Chengdu City carries his children and cuts hairs for guests in Chengdu City, Sichuan Province, China. Image: SCTV.

A 40-year kindergarten in Fukuoka, Japan, is open daily from 7 a.m. to 2 a.m. There are many children here, due to their busy parents’ jobs, they often come late to pick up them. But no matter how late, no matter how tired, the parents of these children will be picked up on time. At 1 a.m., a child naturally wakes up, for his mother will come at this hour every day. The moment he saw the mother, the young face smiled, opened her small arms, happily fell into the mother’s lap.

The Harvard psychologist Gilbert once said: “In the adult world, holding means everything. Parents are everything in their children’s world.” “Ten years later, you won’t regret working on less than one project, but you’ll regret not spending an hour with your kids,” said Harvard Gilbert. “The satisfaction and happiness cannot be compensated with money and power. Carrying your child around is the best thing for you and your baby no matter how difficult.”

Hai Hien (Follow sohu)

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