HCMC18 years after the divorce, Tieu Phuong, his ex-husband and his two wives still keep a close relationship, consider each other friends and care for their children like their own.
When her son received his first month’s salary, Ms. Nguyen Tieu Phuong, 47, from District 1, held a meal at a restaurant to celebrate. The mother is looking forward to the moment her son gives a lucky money to mark her first step of maturity, but unexpectedly, the son has “baked” all the money into the technology.
“More than 20 years of care. I thought that my first month’s salary would give me an envelope. Who wary! Mother was so disappointed!”, Phuong pretended to complain. All four people, including his mother and his daughter, his ex-husband and his new wife, laughed.
Tieu Phuong’s meetings – coach of a yoga and gym center – with her husband’s family often take place in such a happy and comfortable atmosphere. Those who know Tieu Phuong because of their achievements almost always at the top of the movement marathon. The runner-up world also tells each other the story of Tieu Phuong’s “befriending ex-husband and two wives” with admiration.
“I was his wife for 8 years, but I will be friends with him for life”, she shared.
Phuong and her ex-husband divorced 18 years ago. Her husband is a successful man, handsome, and well-mannered, but because of that, there are always many temptations around. Since having children, they increasingly conflict with each other. One day the wife looked at her husband who had been with her for 8 years and “felt like a stranger”. “It was then that I realized I had stopped loving him,” she recalls.
At first, Phuong proposed a divorce, her husband still tried to hold on. Finally he accepted, but asked for custody of the children. She said: “After breaking up, you will have another family very quickly and have another woman give birth to you. And I determined to have only children”. Husband agreed to follow her wishes. The only thing that could have caused them to dispute was resolved like that.
Even though she actively proposed a breakup, Tieu Phuong was still sad at first. Being in a married life, now only alone, women feel weak sometimes. She chooses to limit meeting, limit talking to her ex-husband to regain balance.
At that time, every night her son still held his father’s blanket in his arms, asking his mother: “How long have you been away from a business trip?”, “Doesn’t he love you, love me?”. .. She explained: “Parents still love you very much. It’s just parents no longer match, don’t live together anymore”. The mother fully observes the principle of never defaming her husband in front of her son. In the boy’s heart, the father is always associated with the image of a successful man in the marketplace.
About two years after the divorce, the relationship of two people who used to be husband and wife returned to a normal state. They can talk to each other comfortably like two close friends. “Even, I can hug his neck to promote his shoulder like a junior on the run,” Tieu Phuong shared. Sometimes when he was having coffee with his friend, he needed business advice, she immediately called him for advice, even pulled him out of work to “chat” for her friend. The meals between her mother and her daughter, her ex-husband and his girlfriend took place more and more.
One day, she asked him: “Why do you live with her and not get married. Their daughters have”. He asked again: “Do you agree? Then I will marry her”. Next month he sent invitations.
Tieu Phuong happily accepted the news, but her son responded in the opposite response. A little boy named Kien, at this time 6 years old, wondered: “Why is my father marrying you? Living together is fine”. The mother explained: “It is true that living together is fine but if so you will not have a identity, which means you will not be responsible for taking care of your father. Men always need a woman to take care of, like Kien has a mother, as a grandmother takes care of his grandfather. Therefore, it is normal for him and her to get married. “
Ms. Phuong creates conditions for her children near her father. In the early years when her father married a second wife, every weekend she would come pick Kien to her home to play, sometimes traveling with three people. When she gave birth to the baby, Kien was so excited that from Friday afternoon he had gathered toys and a pair of books available, so that he came to pick him up on Saturday morning to play with him. Later, when she broke up with her father, settled in the US, her mother and daughter were still close to her on social networks. Similarly, 5 years ago, he took another step, Phuong still played with a third person like her friend.
During the 18 years since the divorce, Tieu Phuong still keeps the habit of bringing her children home to wish her paternal New Year’s Eve. The woman determined to “divorce but not abandon the child’s paternal family”. The anniversary of her return, everyone’s birthday, she told her to send a congratulatory message. “Every second time she comes back from America, her ex-husband and wife will cook rice, 4 adults and two children sit down and have a good meal together,” said Phuong.
His mother’s behavior has influenced Kien. “My mother did not teach, but she lived so that I could only have more mom and not lose anything,” said Le Trung Kien, 22 years old.
Many people say, the psychology of children is the most worrying issue when divorcing. But Phuong has a child that many friends refer to as “god giving”. Every time his mother participated in the run, Kien often accompanied the service. As a young man, but at 4:00 in the morning, his mother called “Kien went to get us a bucket of ice”, “Kien cooked his mother a bowl of noodles” then immediately got up. Once my mother participated in running a tournament in Tam Dao, and in the last 10 km, my headset ran out of battery. When he learned of the story, Kien immediately jogged down to give his mother the headset …
When Kien was in 10th grade, Phuong discovered a lover. Student love lasted nearly 3 years and ended on the day of the college entrance exam. What surprised the mother was that, even though he broke up, Kien still passed the University of Natural Sciences with a high score. He and his ex-girlfriend still ask each other, even give each other emotional counseling when there is a new person. “I think a son overcomes the student relationship partly due to the influence from his parents,” said Phuong.
Phuong shared her ex-husband, he and she broke up because they were no longer suitable. But after a divorce, responsibility is important to each other. He cooperated with his ex-wife to take care of his son’s education and career; filial piety, regularly visiting the wife’s parents. On the contrary, when he needs any support in business, Phuong’s parents are always willing to help. “Without love, we are equal to each other,” said the man over 50 years old.
Currently, he has finished building a resort in Ben Tre, with the dream that it will be a place to take care of the elderly of his wife and two former wives in a few decades. Children can visit easily. This intention was said by him many times in four-person conversations, that “the wife only has the last one, and the first and the second are friends”.
Nguyen Tieu Phuong added that she has many close male friends, so talking with them she draws “men are very simple, only women tend to be complex”. Understanding this, she has learned to let go of selfishness, jealousy, and simplicity.
“Fortunately, his ex-husband and the women who have passed away are very modern, so we have a good relationship”, Ms. Tieu Phuong shared.